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Funny Laloo Jokes
Laloo becomes PM (if you haven't cut your throat yet, read on) and goes to Pakistan for a one-on-one with Nawaz
Sharif.They decide to meet without aides and are closeted for about 5 minutes. Laloo then emerges from the room.
Reporters clamour for a statement. "Nawazbhai will make the announcement" is all Laloo will say. Nawaz Sharif comes
out and drops a bombshell - Pakistan has decided to give up all claims on Kashmir, with no strings attached! The
world is stunned. Laloo has achieved in 5 minutes what others had failed to in 50 years! How did you do it, what
did you promise, the press clamours. "Sab akai-waalon ka kamaal hai," (All because of the Akai company people) says
Laloo. "Woh kehte hain na, TV loge tho fridge doonga, video khareedein to cellphone free (They give fridge free if
you buy TV, cellphone free if you buy VCR )... tho ham bhi Nawazbhai se keh diye: "aapko Kashmir chaahiye na? Le
jaayie. Magar saath mein Bihar free milega, bas!" (SO, I said to Nawazbhai - "You want Kashmir, right? Take it. But
you will get Bihar free with it!")
Laloo Yadav suspects Rabri Devi of cheating on him. He thinks : "I have been so busy in politics. I hardly get any
time make love. How come we have so many children. Rabri must be making it out with others. "So he goes
unexpectedly to his bungalow one afternoon and sure enough he opens the door to find Rabri Devi in the arms of his
chowkidaar. Well, Laloo sure is angry. He takes out the gun from the pocket in his kurta. But as he does so, he is
overcome with grief. He takes the gun and points to his head, ready to pull the trigger. Rabri yells "Nahin! aisa
gazab mat karo! (No don't do this) Laloo replies "Chup kar kal-muhi agli goli ka shikar tu hogee!" (shut-up you are
taking the next bullet)
Excerpts from a Laloo Prasad Yadav Speech " I Thank You All For Coming Here From The Bottom Of My Heart And Also
From My Wifes Bottom"
Saddam Hussain approached God and asked him, "When will peace return to my country?" God answered, "You can never see peace in your country during your lifetime." Saddam wept bitterly and walked away. Nawaz Sharif approached God and asked,"When can I see a united Pakistan with Kashmir?" God said,"You can never annex Kashmir during your life time." Sharif wept and walked away. Laloo Prasad approached God and asked, "When will Bihar become a civilised state?" God wept bitterly and said,"I can never see that happening during my life time."
Yamraj's fan
Rabri Devi died and went to hell (Don't Laugh).
As she stood in front of Yamraj , she saw a huge wall of clocks behind.
She asked, "What are all those clocks?"
Yamraj answered, "Those are Lie Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie Clock.
Every time you lie, the hands on your clock will move."
"Oh," said Rabri, "Who's clock is that?"
That's Gautam Buddha's. The hands have never moved indicating that he never told a lie.
"And whose clock is that?" That's Abraham Lincoln's clock.
The hands have only moved twice, telling us that Abraham only told 2 lies in his entire life."
Rabri asked, "Where's my Laloo's clock?"
Laloo"s clock is in my office", replied yamraj, "I'm using it as a CEILING FAN".
Laloo Stamp
When Laloo completed 25 years of his rule over Bihar, he wanted a special postage stamp with his picture on it. He asked Rabri, stressing that it should be world class. The stamps were released, and
Lalloo was pleased.
But within a couple of days, he began hearing complaints that the stamp was not sticking properly, and became furious. He called Rabri and ordered her to investigate the matter. Rabri checked out at
several post offices, and then reported to Lalloo Prasad: She said: "The stamp is really world class. The problem is, our Biharis are spitting on the wrong side."
Check out more Laloo
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