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Funny Passover Jokes, Passover Humor
Passover is a Jewish holiday. Passover is celebrated as a Jewish festival commemorating the Exodus from Egypt.
Passover is also celebrated for the liberation of the Israelis from
Slavery. Passover starts on the fifteenth day of Nissan which is the first month of the Hebrew
Calendar. Jews people enjoy the positive Torah Commandment of eating matzo on the first night of
Passover at the Passover seder. Passover is a time for fun and humor.
People crack Passover jokes in this time. Browse JokesPrank.Com for funny Passover jokes and have fun.
An orthodox Rabbi dies and goes to heaven. As he's approaching the gates, he hears a band of singing and dancing
angels approach, and begins to get excited. The lead angel approaches the Rabbi and asks if he would mind stepping
aside for a moment. Shocked, the Rabbi does so. The angels march out of the gates and encircle a man who has also
approached the gates. The man is an Egged bus driver [Egged, pronounced like egg-head without the h, is the Israeli
tour bus company.] The joyous parade of angels carry the bus driver in ahead of the Rabbi.
When the parade is gone, an angel returns to the Rabbi and says, "You can come in now." The angel begins to lead
the Rabbi inside alone. The Rabbi, somewhat confused, says, "I'm not one to make waves or anything, but I need to
know something. I think I've been a good Rabbi. I've worked hard all my life. Why is it that the Egged bus driver
gets led in by a band of angels ahead of me?" The angel says, "Well, frankly, Rabbi, whenever you preached, people
slept. But whenever he drove, people prayed."
This is a little known tale of how G-d came to give the Jews the Ten Commandments.
G-d first went to the Egyptians and asked them if they would like a commandment. "What's a commandment?" they
asked. "Well, it's like, THOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY," replied G-d. The Egyptians thought about it and then
said, "No way, that would ruin our weekends."
So then G-d went to the Assyrians and asked them if they would like a commandment. They also asked, "What's a
commandment?" "Well," said G-d, "It's like, THOU SHALL NOT STEAL." The Assyrians immediately replied, "No way. That
would ruin our economy."
So finally G-d went to the Jews and asked them if they wanted a commandment. They asked, "How much?" G-d said,
"They're free."
The Jews said, "Great! We'll take TEN!"
Morris calls his son in NY and says, "Benny, I have something to tell you. However, I don't want to discuss it. I'm
merely telling you because you're my oldest child, and I thought you ought to know. I've made up my mind, I'm
divorcing Mama." The son is shocked, and asks his father to tell him what happened. "I don't want to get into it.
My mind is made up." "But Dad, you just can't decide to divorce Mama just like that after 54 years together. What
happened?" "It's too painful to talk about it. I only called because you're my son, and I thought you should know.
I really don't want to get into it anymore than this. You can call your sister and tell her. It will spare me the
pain." "But where's Mama? Can I talk to her?" "No, I don't want you to say anything to her about it. I haven't told
her yet. Believe me it hasn't been easy. I've agonized over it for several days, and I've finally come to a
decision. I have an appointment with the lawyer the day after tomorrow." "Dad, don't do anything rash. I'm going to
take the first flight down. Promise me that you won't do anything until I get there." "Well, all right, I promise.
Next week is Passover. I'll hold off seeing the lawyer until after the Seder. Call your sister in NJ and break the
news to her. I just can't bear to talk about it anymore." A half hour later, Morris receives a call from his
daughter who tells him that she and her brother were able to get tickets and that they and the children will be
arriving in Florida the day after tomorrow. "Benny told me that you don't want to talk about it on the telephone,
but promise me that you won't do anything until we both get there." Morris promises. After hanging up from his
daughter, Morris turns to his wife and says, "Well, it worked this time, but what are we going to do, to get them
to come down next year?"
Moses was sitting in the Egyptian ghetto. Things were terrible. Pharaoh wouldn't even speak to him. The rest of the
Israelites were mad at him and making the overseers even more irritable than usual, etc. He was about ready to give
up.
Suddenly a booming, sonorous voice spoke from above:
"You, Moses, heed me ! I have good news, and bad news."
Moses was staggered. The voice continued:
"You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel from bondage. If Pharaoh refuses to release your bonds, I will smite
Egypt with a rain of frogs"
"You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel to the Promised Land. If Pharaoh blocks your way, I will smite Egypt
with a plague of Locust."
"You, Moses, will lead the People of Israel to freedom and safety. If Pharaoh's army pursues you, I will part the
waters of the Red Sea to open your path to the Promised Land."
Moses was stunned. He stammered, "That's.... that's fantastic. I can't believe it! --- But what's the bad news?"
"You, Moses, must write the Environmental Impact Statement."
A little boy once returned home from Hebrew school and his father asked, "what did you learn today?"
He answered, "The Rabbi told us how Moses led the children of Israel out of Egypt."
"How?"
The boy said "Moses was a big strong man and he beat Pharaoh up. Then while he was down, he got all the people
together and ran towards the sea. When he got there, he has the Corps of Engineers build a huge pontoon bridge.
Once they got on the other side, they blew up the bridge while the Egyptians were trying to cross."
The father was shocked. "Is that what the Rabbi taught you?"
The boy replied, "No. But you'd never believe the story he DID tell us!"
A Jewish man took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park. He sat down on a bench and began eating. Since Jews do not eat
leavened bread during the eight day holiday, he was eating Matzo, a flat crunchy unleavened bread that has dozens of perforations.
A little while later a blind man came by and sat down next to him. Feeling neighborly, the Jewish man passed a sheet of matzo to the
blind man.
The blind man handled the matzo for a few minutes, looked puzzled, and finally exclaimed, "Who wrote this crap?"
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