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Email Jokes Family History The Smith's were proud of their family tradition. Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower and the family included Senators and Wall Street Wizards. The family decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren. So the family hired a fine author to put together all their research notes, only one problem arose - how to handle great Uncle George, who was executed in the electric chair. The author said not to worry for he could handle the story tactfully so the book appeared and it said... " Great Uncle George occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution. He was attached to his position by the strongest of ties, and his death came as a great shock." Folklorists those who study the folklore of the U.S., collect jokes into joke cycles. A cycle is a collection of jokes with a particular theme The Tourists... Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee. "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly? The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said,
Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, Kiiiing." Ten Million Dollars... Jackís grandfather left him ten million dollars, and the next week Diane agreed to marry him. After three months of married life, Jack noticed that his beautiful new wife was ignoring him more and more. On the rare occasion that she would go to bed with him she would be indifferent, or even worse, called out other menís names! Whenever they went out in public, she ignored him and flirted with other men. Finally, he decided to confront her. "Diane," he said, "the only reason you married me was because my grandfather left me ten million dollars when he died" "Donít be ridiculous," she replied,
"I donít care where your money came from!" The Fortune Telling Scale: A nun was going to Chicago. She went to the airport
and sat down waiting for her flight. She looked over in the corner of the
waiting room and saw a weighing machine that also tells your fortune. So,
she thought to herself, "I'll give it a try just to see what it tells
me.". She went over to the machine, put a quarter in, and out came a card that read, "You're a nun who weighs 128 pounds and you're going to Chicago, Illinois." She sat down and thought about it. She reasoned that it probably tells everyone the same thing, but decided to try it again. She went back to the machine, put her quarter in, and out came a card that read, "You're a nun, you weigh 128 pounds, you're going to Chicago, Illinois, and you're going to play a fiddle." The nun said to herself, "I know that's wrong! I have never played a musical instrument a day in my life." She sat back down when out of nowhere a cowboy sat next to her and set his fiddle case in the seat next to the lady. The nun picked up the fiddle and played the most beautiful music, as if she had been playing for years. Startled, she looked back at the machine and said, "This is incredible! I've got to try it again!" Back to the machine she went. She put her quarter in and another card came out that read, "You're a nun, you weigh 128 pounds, you're going to Chicago, Illinois, and you're going to break wind." Now the nun knew the machine was wrong. "I've never broken wind in public a day in my life!" She turned around and tripped, falling off the scale, breaking wind. Stunned, she sat back down and looked at the machine. She said to herself, This is truly unbelievable! I've got to try it again!" She went back to the machine, put in a quarter, and
collected the card. It said, "You're a nun, you weigh 128 pounds, you
have fiddled and farted around and missed your plane to Chicago!!!" The Plan... One evening, a young woman came home from a date, rather sad. She told her mother, "Anthony proposed to me an hour ago." "Then why are you so sad?" her mother asked. "Because he also told me he is an atheist. Mom, he doesn't even believe there's a Hell." Her mother replied, "Marry him anyway. Between the two of us, we'll show him just how wrong he is."
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