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Easter Jokes
What Is Easter?
Three stupid guys just died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question.
St. Peter asks the first man, "WHAT IS EASTER?" The man replies, "Oh, that's easy, it's the holiday in November when everybody gets together, eats turkey, and is thankful..."
"WRONG," replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second man the same question, "WHAT IS EASTER?"
The second man replies, "No, Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus."
St. Peter looks at the second man, shakes his head in disgust, looks at the third man and asks, "WHAT IS EASTER?"
The third man smiles and looks St. Pete in the eye.
"I know what Easter is. Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and He was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took Him to be crucified and was stabbed in the side, made Him wear a crown of thorns, and He was hung on a cross. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder. Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out, and if He sees his shadow there will be six more weeks of winter."
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?
A Hot Cross bunny.
What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat?
Thistle have to do!
Is it true that bunnies have good eye sight?
Well you never see a bunny wearing glasses, do you?
What did the grey rabbit say to the blue rabbit?
Cheer up!
Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world?
It has 4 rabbits' feet.
How do you post a bunny?
Hare mail.
What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote?
One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny!
What do you get when you cross a bunny with a leek?
A bunion.
What does a bunny use when it goes fishing?
A hare-net.
What did the bunny want to do when he grew up?
Join the Hare Force.
What goes ha-ha-clunk?
A bunny laughing its head off.
How do you make a rabbit stew?
Make it wait for 3 hours!
How do bunnies stay healthy?
Eggercise
Why are people always tired in April?
Because they've just finished a March
Why did the rabbit cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off.
What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards?
A receding hareline.
What do you call the Easter Bunny after a hard day's work?
Tired.
What did the rabbit say to the carrot?
It's been nice gnawing at you.
Where does Valentine's Day comes after Easter?
In the dictionary.
Do you know how bunnies stay in shape?
Hareobics.
What's the difference between the Easter Bunny and a lumberjack?
One chews and hops, the other hews and chops.
What do you call rabbits that marched in a long sweltering Easter parade?
Hot, cross bunnies.
Why couldn't the rabbit fly home for Easter?
He didn't have the hare fare.
How many chocolate bunnies can you put into an empty Easter basket?
One. After that the basket won't be empty.
Why did the rabbit cross the road
Because the chicken had his Easter eggs.
Molly Mole: What's the difference between the Easter rabbit and a mattababy?
Barney: What's a mattababy?
Molly Mole: Nothing. What's the matter with you?
What do you call a dumb bunny?:
A hare brain.
How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group?
Just look for the grey hares.
What do you call a rabbit who tells jokes?
A funny bunny.
What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
Bugs Bunny
What kind of book does a rabbit like at bedtime?
One with a hoppy ending.
How did the eggs leave the highway?
They went through the "Eggs-it".
What happened to the egg when he was tickled too much?
He cracked up.
What part did the egg play in the movies?
He was an "Egg-stra".
What do you call a sleeping egg?
Egg-zosted!
What did the eggs do when the light turned green?
They egg-cellerated.
What search engine do eggs use on the Internet?
Egg-site!
Why couldn't the egg family watch T.V.?
Because their cable was scrambled.
What's red, pink and blue with yellow all over?
An Easter egg rolling down the hill.
Why did the egg go to school?
To get "Egg-ucated".
How do eggs stay healthy?
They "Egg-cercise".
What kind of plants do eggs keep?
Eggplants!
What do you call an egg from outer space?
An "Egg-stra terrestial".
Why did the egg cross the road?
Because he wasn't a chicken yet!
What day does an egg hate the most?
Fry-days.
Where do Easter Bunnies go for new tails?
To the re-tail store.
Do you know how to find the Easter bunny if he was lost?
Make a noise like a carrot; he'll find you.
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been?
Eggs (x) marks the spot
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Esther
Esther Who?
Esther Bunny
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Some bunny
Some bunny Who?
Some bunny is eating all my Easter eggs!
Why did the bunny go to the dance?
To do the bunny hop!
Why did the Easter Bunny cross the road?
The chicken had his Easter Eggs!
What does a sick chicken say?
I have the people pox.
How does an Easter chicken bake a cake?
From scratch.
Why can't a rabbit's nose be twelve inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
What would you get if you crossed a rabbit with a scout?
A rabbit who helps little old ladies hop across the street.
How do you know when you're eating rabbit stew?
When it has hares in it.
What do you call rabbits that live at the North Pole?
Cold little bunnies.
What do rabbits have that nothing else has?
Baby rabbits.
What is a rabbit's favorite dance?
The Bunny Hop.
What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear?
14 carrot gold.
Waitress, what's this hare doing in my soup?
Looks like the back stroke.
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